The Mindful Use of Technology for Authentic Human Connection: Wisdom 2.0 Conference Reflections

May 5, 2010 By Michelle Barry Franco Leave a Comment

**A really important conversation began this weekend.**

It’s a conversation that we all, on some level, know has to happen. It’s one that’s happening in many of our hearts and minds as well as in our families, marriages, within our friendships – maybe even with work colleagues. Those personal conversations have been intense, conflicted, and even frustrating for many of us… because the answers and next steps aren’t really clear.

I’m talking about How to stay connected spiritually, in a heart and soul-centered way, as human beings while taking bold and brilliant advantage of the exciting technological advances in communication that we have available to us today.

The Question is:

How do we make mindful use of technology that has the power to bring us meaningfully closer to more people than ever before, while maintaining a real connection both inside ourselves and in our face-to-face interactions?

For those of us who love the different kinds of connection that technology facilitates, it can be tricky to find the best ways to keep that virtual connection strong and useful… and give ourselves the “unplugged” time required to be truly present in heart, mind and spirit in our face-to-face connections as well. After the Wisdom 2.0 Conference this weekend, I understand even more fully why this struggle is so real for me and others like me. I’ll tell you more about that later but let me just say for now, it’s not entirely our lack of willpower (whew!)

A zillion little sound bites were shared that caused spikes in my brain, heart and gut energy.

I’ll share just the few that sit with me today, as I re-enter into my work life two days post-Wisdom 2.0:

Possibly the most striking discussion I heard the whole weekend happened in the second half of the first day when Tami Simon, founder and owner of Sounds True (multi-media publisher of many best-selling soulful audiobooks and videos), described her experience of checking email. She talked about that rush that happens sometimes when she checks email and watches that long list of emails flood her inbox. The incongruency between the overwhelm that email so often causes for our “to-do” list and that strange attraction (compulsion…? ….addiction?) to receiving new emails. Tami’s not alone. Knowing laughs and head-nodding filled the room immediately (my own laugh & head-bobbing included.) This happened even as we were all mid-stride in a conversation about how overwhelming email can be and that it also plays an unwanted negative role in so many of our days. Tami cited brain research on the rush of dopamine that floods just the right part of our brain as those emails fill our inbox and I felt suddenly vindicated somehow… like my own attraction to checking email at least wasn’t just about a lack of willpower on my part.

The brilliance in conversation that came from the stage was really staggering. We heard about how one of the founders of Twitter – Greg Pass – Tweets to push the edges of his own creativity and exploration (my words.)

Philippe Goldin, a hard-core brain researcher/neuroscientist from Stanford showed us in graphics and enthusiastic narrative the ways in which research indicates that meditation is better for our mind, body and spirit than just about anything we could possibly do, period (including exercise.) High-ups from Google in a number of departments told us about how they integrate mindfulness practices like yoga, Qi Gong and meditation into their daily lives – and the programs they bring to Google employees in an effort to help their employees stay healthy in all aspects of their lives as much as possible, even in the midst of a truly uber-connected work world.

The description that Linda Stone gave of how to know if you have email apnea (a shortage of breathing while using email) felt like she had been secretly looking into my office window and watching me: sitting at computer, shoulders slumped forward, hands turned inward on keyboard, staring blurry-eyed at the screen, shallowly breathing (and sometimes even holding my breath, when I think about it!) As Linda requested that we practice this familiar position in our chairs, she asked us to take a deep breath in – an almost impossible task from that position. Point made. Not a lot of deep breathing going on from this position. We simply can’t get in an optimum amount of air in this body configuration.

The speakers were really fabulous: brilliant, interesting, and truly mindful human beings (far as I could tell.) But really, the major coup of the whole weekend for me, was getting to hang out in a room full of my kin. The energy in the room was palpable – people were clearly very very excited to have this conversation. We were excited for ourselves and we were excited for what this means for humanity and technology. The possibilities for mindful, conscious, beautifully human business felt greater than most of us had experienced before. All that and it felt like we didn’t have to turn in our smartphones and computers to make it happen. There’s a middle way, it feels – and it’s awesome to be in a roomful of really smart, mindful people searching for that middle way with us.

For me – and I have struggled both with being “too connected” and with not feeling like I know how to virtually connect “well enough” – this conversation was totally riveting, enlightening and thought-provoking. If you check out the Twitter stream (#wisdom2conf) you’ll see that I am most definitely not alone in those feelings. You won’t find the answers there, necessarily, but you will find a lot of people committed to that goal.

People are already doing very cool things to help make the online experience more human, transparent and soulful. More businesses are being Visioned and launched right now by people in that Wisdom 2.0 conference toward that end. It’s exciting. We absolutely cannot ever replace human touch, eye-to-eye contact, the energetic exchange that happens when two or more people sit together in a room in conversation, in meditation, or in solidarity on an issue. I don’t think any of us want to replace those lovely human experiences. It’s about expansion… opening… growth… different kinds of connection that enrich our lives in new and unexpected ways. I don’t think we’ve found the perfect way to use technology to enhance our human connections (doubt we ever will) but I am optimistic that we are having the right conversations to help us get closer to that goal. Go check out the #wisdom2conf Twitter stream – and read the blog posts being shared about the experience – and you’ll see.

This was just the beginning. You are invited to join the conversation right now. I’d certainly LOVE to hear your thoughts & ideas on how we can mindfully take advantage of the technologies available to us and use them in service of a more authentically connected world.

Filed Under: Contribution, entrepeneurialism, life overall, social media, technology

How to Use Twitter When You're Not That Funny

February 5, 2010 By Michelle Barry Franco 1 Comment

When I first started using Twitter about a year ago (or whenever), I was perplexed about it. Who isn’t, really?

Actually, there’s a good chance that you may not even be on Twitter, maybe for the same reasons I almost jumped the Twitter ship. (I thought about combining Twitter and Ship there for a minute, like lots of Twitter Tweeps do, but then I realized that could turn out pretty vulgar… )

Anyway, back to my reason for considering jumping the Twitter Ship… I just didn’t really get it. Hell, it’s been a year now (or however long) and I’m still not entirely sure I get it. But I’ve learned some stuff that’s caused me to stick around. Maybe it will help you work through your own conflicted Twitter feelings, if you’ve got them.

Not Everyone Can Be Awesome at Twitter

My general read on Twitter, after having spent a good amount of time “listening” plus a moderate amount of time sharing and participating, is that Twitter works best under three conditions:

You are already famous/well-known
You are on there a lot – all day – and you provide smart, valuable insight and resources for people (sometimes this gets you up into category #1)
You are supernaturally witty and smart and a brilliant online conversationalist – plus you are on there all day, pretty much

I have spent a lot of time studying this because, frankly, I don’t fit into any of those categories. And I want to be cool and use Twitter well. I want be be technologically cutting-edge. Most importantly, I want Twitter to be the productive and useful business tool I keep hearing it is from other people.

Twitter Can Be Productive & Pleasant, Even If You’re Not Great At It

I found that traditionally “successful” use of Twitter doesn’t come readily, even when you do all the stuff the “Twitter experts” suggest that you do. Even when you just try to be “natural” and “yourself” on Twitter. It’s just not an intuitive space, the Twitter stream. So, as I saw these “how to be successful on Twitter” categories emerging, I kept trying to find other ways to use Twitter productively, for the benefit of my business, and in a way that is personally pleasant.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Twitter is not going to work for me that way I keep hearing it works.

Smart & Nice People Are on Twitter – Plus TONS of Useful Information

Once I realized that Twitter didn’t have to work the way I kept hearing it was supposed to, I actually started enjoying Twitter. I have met lovely people on Twitter – generous, smart, and, well, witty people (of course). But also people, like me, who just really want to step into conversations meaningfully. People who want to share cool stuff they’ve experienced and done so that others can have that same goodness in their lives. I dig those conversations and I would be bummed if Twitter was taken away at this point, because it’s a reliable place to find interesting people and information.

Maybe A New Angle On the Whole Twitter Thing Will Help

So, just in case you are like me and are feeling like you maybe aren’t cut out for the cool Twitter witty banter crowd – or you have been too intimidated to get on Twitter at all because you can’t figure out where you’d fit in, I offer you a few ways to use Twitter even when you’re not whip-funny, famous or able to hang out and make friends there all day long:

Follow some of those famous people who are whip-smart and witty and enjoy their tweets. They are often inspiring and thought-provoking. If you take the pressure off of your own ability to create that kind of tweet yourself (with its heady resultant engagement from other tweeters) you get the benefit of some great insights.
Don’t take the silence personally (not everyone follows the ideal Twitter ettiquette and I suppose it can make sense.) When I first started on Twitter I @-d at few people very directly and didn’t get any response. They weren’t even famous or anything (some of them were even in my own smallish town!). When they didn’t reply to a couple of my initiated conversations, I felt like I did in high school when the cool kids standing at “the wall” didn’t even acknowledge my existence at lunch break. While I eventually figured out how to side-up to a few of the kids at “the wall” at school, breaking into the cool crowd on Twitter felt impossible and deflating. Now, after being around a while, I get it that it is tough to stay on top of all of the conversations on Twitter and those deafening silences as I awaited the much-touted Twitter conversation were less about rejection of me and more of a time-management technique on the other person’s part (I’m going with that story anyway.)
Find a few of your kin and genuinely get to know them. Read the links in their tweets, respond to them when you are inspired, and consider taking the conversation beyond Twitter. I have enjoyed lovely expansions of Twitter-born connections with both @elasticmind and @ealvarezgibson (both of whom happen to also be whip-smart and witty) and continue to appreciate my connections with them on and off the live Twitter stream.
Seek the latest and greatest on products, news and events in your areas of interest. Nowhere is easier than Twitter to get this information real-time. I learned about the very fine Lateral Action Course from @chrisbrogan on Twitter. An excellent find. Through some crazy Twitter click-through journey, I learned about a cool Crave Business event I went to last year. Both of these experience very positively impacted my business with valuable information I have integrated into my systems and processes. There’s a ton of that kind of thing on Twitter.

See You On Twitter

So, I’m staying on Twitter – but I don’t use it the way I thought I would. I don’t use it the way I read about other people using it. Often, those writing about using Twitter as this great relationship-building and conversational tool fit into those three categories above (famous, uber-witty-banter-style, or on-all-day) and therefore, the outcomes flow to them differently than they do for me. And maybe for you.

I hope to see you on Twitter. Say hello, would you? I’m @michellebfranco. I may or may not reply that day, but I will respond, even if I can’t think of anything especially clever to say.

Filed Under: networking, small business marketing, social media, technology, Twitter

Almost Like A Real Coffee Date

January 6, 2010 By Michelle Barry Franco Leave a Comment

Sometimes living in a rural(ish) area – as stunningly gorgeous as my town of Bend, Oregon is – can feel so isolated.

We have really smart people here and passion abounds. But, for the most part, people don’t move here to start a business. They move here to live amidst crystal blue skies (300+ days of sunshine here, is what they say), towering Ponderosa Pines and to gaze at snowcapped mountaintops out their windows. Lots of them come here expressly to ski and fish, but since I don’t do either of those things I forget how much that’s a big deal here, too. Anyway, my point is – people are too busy living the lovely outdoor life to stay indoors and build big business.

I’m good with that. I dig this area very much. The thing is, I’m also a passion-driven Entrepreneur. While we have many business owners here (I recently heard that 60% of the adults in our area were self-employed), there aren’t all that many who want to talk hard-core business for long periods of time. I like to do that – so I miss this element a bit ’round here.

Enter Skype Video!

To stay connected with other passion-driven entrepreneurs, I Tweet (a bit), blog (obviously) and use Facebook (off and on). Sometimes I use LinkedIn, but not that much right now. It’s nice – I have met some very cool people through these interactions. And while I have very mixed emotions about Twitter (more on that later), I must say that I have made the coolest connections through that crazy platform. Like my new friend, Tara Joyce.

Tara Joyce is a leading-authority on the Innerpreneur. She writes a really cool blog where she shares statistics from her own data gathering, shares stories and ideas and – my favorite – she talks brazenly about her own innerpreneur journey. I’m an innerpreneur! So, I really like reading Tara’s blog. Somehow, we connected on Twitter (who ever knows how?) then we had a few exchanges. We moved to email a bit then Tara suggested we Skype.

Skype for Networking?!

I would totally have gone to coffee with Tara by now if we lived locally. Our businesses are so compatible and our interests so very similar, I knew we’d have some excellent conversation. I Skype with clients, and my brother (and our kiddos show each other their latest art projects and costumes there, too) and my very good friend Nancy and I get on Skype regularly to catch up. It simply hadn’t occurred to me to use Skype as a networking tool.

It was so awesome. It was almost like a real coffee date!

I’d just like to put it out there to you as a possible network/friendship expanding opportunity. Next time you are wishing you could have a cup of coffee and get to know someone a bit better under more personal-style, face-to-face circumstances but a plane ticket would be a bit overkill, consider grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting in front of your Webcam. I made a meaningful connection that way today. I bet you would, too.

Thank you to Chichacha for the cute little duo coffee mug photo.

Filed Under: entrepeneurialism, networking, social media, technology

Social Media is Scary

November 19, 2009 By Michelle Barry Franco Leave a Comment

Every once in a while, social media freaks me out and makes me want to run screaming altogether. That’s what happened to me recently when I Twitter-clicked my way to a blog post titled “The Five Most Annoying Couples on Facebook.” The article describes the horror of having couples as Facebook friends who do things like “I have the most amazing husband in the whole world!!!” and “Excited to stay in for ‘movie and pizza night’ with the hubby!”

I’m not even sure what, exactly, got me so upset. I think it was a combination of things: I go back and forth in my own feelings about social media and the time sink/payoff thing… I wasn’t that cool in high school and sometimes social media gives me flashbacks to that experience… and then there’s the fact that I might be one half of one of those couples on Facebook! In fact, here’s my most recent Facebook update:

Michelle Barry Franco Totally digging my work/writing retreat at Suttle Lake Lodge. Serious creativity flowing. Bummed I forgot my usual t-shirt of Jim’s for sleeping, but pleasantly surprised that I brought his socks instead of mine. Like a little piece of home right here on my feet.

The Lodge at Suttle Lake – Sisters Oregon Resorts – Sisters Hotels

Source: www.thelodgeatsuttlelake.com

the Lodge at Suttle Lake

9 hours ago · Comment · · View Feedback (7)Hide Feedback (7) · Share

See where I say the thing about my husband’s socks being like a “piece of home” on my retreat?!

Maybe I’m just defensive because I am one of the “too much in love” people they describe in this article, but is it really all that awful to see people appreciate one another publicly? I mean, don’t we see enough of the other side to warrant a little online PDA here and there?

My question to all the cool Facebook people out there is this: does my status update above make me worthy of “unfriending”?And if this one is somehow forgivable, what about the one last week where I described how my husband made me coffee and brushed the snow off my car? And THEN, what about the update earlier that same (clearly family-absorbed week – GASP!) where I posted a photo of my 5-year-old who lost both of her front teeth nearly at once? Surely I belong on some blog post somewhere as an example of a dreadful Facebook friend who talks too much about the people she loves who are at the center of her life.

I think social media has the potential to be useful, fun, and inspire connection and growth. It seems like a great place to share stories and offer little windows into the details of our lives for those who are interested. The beauty is exactly that – listen if you want. The tools are fabulous for customizing your own feeds – and for skimming over content that is of little interest to you.

I’m getting confused about exactly what I am supposed to be saying on Facebook (and this comes up on Twitter, too) that would keep me worthy of “friend” status.

From a business perspective, I definitely notice that people handle social media in vastly different ways and the key seems to be finding the kind of disclosure that is most comfortable for you. So far, I have generally kept my Facebook profile for personal use and used my Facebook Fan Page for business. This is evolving, though, as my business and personal life intertwine more and more, as happens for so many of us.

Incidentally, the article mentioned above was not a business article – it seemed to be about personal Facebook use. But since my focus in this blog is on entrepreneurship, I am thinking about all of this from both a personal and a business perspective.

With the emphasis on transparency in business right now, these mean-spirited messages about how to behave on social media can make navigating these online social interactions tricky. It sucks to be made fun of and stifled of self-expression.

Ultimately, I think it scares some really good people who have nice and even interesting things to say from joining the social media conversations at all.

What are your thoughts?

Filed Under: entrepeneurialism, social media