People Want More Peaceful Business Networking Feelings

November 9, 2010 By Leave a Comment

What would it take for you to get up, ready and out the door to attend a totally optional business education session at 7:30 in the morning?

You’d have to be pretty motivated, right?

Two weeks ago, I facilitated a Business Success Program session for the Bend Chamber of Commerce called Networking with Impact & Ease. Shockingly, sixty-five people showed up for this 7:30am session, in spite of their alternative delicious option to sleep in a bit longer or have just one more cup of coffee in their robes at home.

Not only did these 65 people rally to their cars that brisk, still-dark October morning – they participated their hearts out in our session.

Why would this many people in our somewhat “small town” area go to so much trouble to be in that room that morning?

Because networking freaks people out. Networking of the fancy, businessy kind is so daunting to so many people that the promise of some ease around the topic – and effectiveness, too! – is just too good to pass up.

I’m excited to share excerpts of that talk with you via video as soon as I get that video clipped and edited into useful bits. In the meantime, I’m just really curious – how do you feel about “Networking”? What comes up for you when you think about going to an official business networking event? And where else do you “network” that may not be a traditional networking venue?

Filed Under: business communication, networking

It’s Not That I Wasn’t Listening But I Can’t Remember Your Name

July 29, 2010 By 4 Comments

One time I called a good friend of mine and her husband answered the phone. I consider her husband a friend, too, if but one layer away in the circle than my friend. The point is - I totally know his name.

“Hello?”, he husks out in his lovely voice. A voice with which I am very familiar.

“Hi… um… oh, jeez… It’s Michelle! I’m so sorry… my mind is blank…”

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. The horror, really. To not remember my own friend’s name.

I know that he totally felt like I don’t really care about him in that moment. Like all of those cool conversations over dinner and annual Halloween shared family events meant nothing to me.

“Brandon”, he says, laughing. He’s so kind. See, there are so many reasons to like him. Which I totally do!

I was so mortified that I can’t even remember what I said next to feebly try to make up for the terrible slight of forgetting his name. I just remember that he did his best to make a joke of it and I was so relieved when he handed the phone to his wife. Of course, I did everything I could to keep her on the phone as long as possible in hopes he’d somehow forget this whole terrible mess and not tell my friend that I forgot her husband’s name – the guy who takes our family holiday photo for us every year.

This is, of course, not the only time I’ve forgotten a person’s name.

In fact, pretty much every time I meet someone new, I forget their name. Even when they totally impressed me. Even when I am so impressed that I develop a “friend crush” on them and have fantasies of long Saturday morning coffee conversations about our deepest thoughts and dreams, I can easily forget their name.

The thing is, I swear I truly was listening when I was first told said name.

I’ve read stuff about this over the years – articles that come across my screen and in doctor’s office magazines. Most of them say that if you don’t remember a person’s name then you probably weren’t really paying attention when they told it to you.

I get that. I can see how distraction (which is a problem for me at times) can make it hard to listen well to a person. But frankly, I’ve checked on this a thousand times and I am not distracted. I am truly listening. Hell, nothing fascinates me more than great conversation with a person – and a new person with real connection possibility is such a jackpot. I am totally listening.

So, then what’s with not remembering their name?

After simply one too many situations where I avoid talking with someone who I would like to visit with again – because I couldn’t remember their name – I decided to do a little research and find out what might really be going on for me.

It turns out, I actually have been listening.

I knew it! (Or, at least, there are other possible explanations for the name memory thing.)

Since I’m thinking there might be one or two of you out there who struggle with the same thing (I know it, actually, because I’ve commiserated with many of you about this very topic), I figured I’d share what I learned in my research. Maybe you’ll feel vindicated, too – or at least more accurately understood for this annoying name-forgetting affliction.

Two theories really rang fascinating for me:

A faulty dentate gyrus (which means I need to exercise more – damn!) & the brain’s shifting gifts (if you hear this as “aging”, you are right on. But, really now, isn’t everyone’s brain aging?!).

To keep this simple (which is all my brain can do right now anyway – having not exercised in hours and recently had an extra sweet margarita – ole’!), the dentate gyrus problem is something about glucose not processing right in this part of the brain. Exercise can help this, of course, because exercise helps everything (which would make a rational person wonder why one wouldn’t exercise all the time. I should wonder it more, really.) What I love about this theory is that it completely supports my absolute certainty that I truly am paying attention when you tell me your name. It’s something that happens after you tell me your name that causes the problem – and it’s in some little part of my brain that I have little control over (except the damn exercise thing.) A way better explanation of this whole thing can be found in this Scientific American article.

The second theory I really liked was the one where my brain is just busy doing more meaningful things, like solving world problems and making interesting connections between things. The little details (which names would fit into in this case, though I know a person’s name is such a meaningful thing for them) get tossed aside by more complex thinking. This resonates for me because I actually remember virtually everything about the person, except their name. I will remember their stories, what they do for work, how many kids they have or their world travels. I remember what mattered to them when we spoke and even the way they talk, with particular inflections and idiosyncratic movements. It’s just the name that escapes me!

Things go a little awry in this New York Times article I read on this aging brain phenomenon because I couldn’t find anything I could actually do to get better at remembering names in this situation. The focus became largely on ways to create more connections in your brain so you could continue to expand your own brain function. This greater brain function wasn’t as concerned about remembering names.

I feel better, knowing that there is evidence (beyond my own feeling of certainty) that I can really be genuinely present with a person and still not remember their name.

I hope you do, too – if either I forget your name when we meet, or if you forget someone else’s (including mine, which I truly don’t feel bad about, seeings as I completely get it.)

That said, I am still seeking strategies that truly help with remembering names. Because, frankly, no matter how fancily I explain all the reasons I might forget someone’s name, I also know that it feels a little crappy, after a lovely conversation, when we meet again in some unexpected place and I can’t say, “Hello, Your Name! So good to see you again!”

So, please – do you have any strategies that really work for remembering names? (Aside from exercise, which any minute now I am going to ramp up big time, thank you) because I’d so love to hear them.

Filed Under: mindfulness, networking

Results from Small Business & Private Practice Marketing Survey

April 13, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Jeez, I feel so lucky and warm inside from all of your responses to the nine question survey I put out there a few weeks ago. I had 35 really rich, engaged, fabulous responses. I think my favorite thing about this is that I didn’t offer anything in return for the time you all spent filling out this survey. I’m not surprised that you are a generous bunch, actually – it’s just so lovely to have such a clear demonstration of said generosity. Thank you all.

I’ve decided that I am going to share the results of this survey – in a somewhat freeform discussion style – because so much of it was interesting and, I believe useful, for all of us to know about our fellow small business owners (at least the ones who filled out this survey.)

For reference, here are the questions from the survey:

1. What is your business type? (therapy practice, NLP Practitioner, non-profit, counseling, massage practice)

2. How long have you been in this business?

3. Are you the owner (or a partner-owner) in this business?

4. How satisfied are you with the number of clients you have right now?

5. How happy are you with the type of clients (including the kinds of issues they are bringing to you) you are seeing in your practice right now?

6. If you were to name one real struggle you are having in your practice right now, what would it be? (e.g. finding more clients, attracting the right kind of clients, marketing overall, juggling all of the tasks of business ownership…)

7. How do you feel about marketing your practice?

8. What marketing avenues have you tried in your business?

9. Where do you go to get more information when you need help with building your practice or other business needs? (mark all that apply)

And now, for the survey results from the small business & private practice marketing survey…

The Sample (From Counselors & Therapists to Plumbers & Video Production)

Since I tend to work with and attract counselors, therapists, alternative health practitioners, artists and creative-types, many of the responses were from people in those types of businesses. That said, I heard from people in the insurance industry, publishing, bookkeeping, real estate, floral artistry, chefs, plumbing, video production, natural health & wellness, organizing… see what I mean about how cool this survey turned out to be? Love it.

Almost 90% of respondents owned the business they are working in and many (40%) have been working in their businesses for more than 10 years. The bulk of the remaining responders (34%) have been in their business between 1-4 years.

State of Small Business Affairs

Most of the respondents wish for more clients, though just under 26% are happy with their current number of clients. 51% are unsatisfied or very unsatisfied with current client numbers. That is a frustrating place to be, I know. But the good news is, 71% are at least reasonably happy with and genuinely enjoy working with the type of clients they currently have (and over 31% are very happy) – that’s fabulous!

For those who want to grow their client list, there is good news…

For the Love of Marketing Your Small Business

They enjoy marketing more than I expected! What a fun discovery. This surprised me a little because I often hear about how much small business owners don’t tend to like marketing – especially business owners who build businesses based on their passions. This simply wasn’t the case for this sample. 69% “don’t mind” marketing and 20% actually “love it”! 25% consider marketing their small business a “necessary evil” and only 2 people said they “avoid it”. Overall, that’s more marketing-love than you ever hear about on the business wire.

So, if it isn’t that everyone hates marketing (like we often hear about), then what is getting in the way of marketing their businesses they way they want or think they should? Can you guess? I’ll give you a hint: they are the two things that get in the way of most things in small business. Yep: money & time. Actually, let’s turn “time” into “time + overwhelm”. People are just overwhelmed with all of the tasks of small business ownership, pure & simple. (I know how they feel at times. I’m guessing you do, too – no?)Then, even when they do dream up a great idea, pulling together the funds to try something they are not sure will work can be a little freaky… and, well, overwhelming.  Other feelings & words mentioned about marketing were “fear”, “fun”, “love networking”, “I’m an introvert”, “time consuming” and “eeeeeeek” – plus more. It’s a complex world, the marketing endeavor.

When they do decide to… endeavor in to marketing, how do they do it? What marketing techniques do they engage? 85% use networking groups (this might be because I tend to use networking groups and I’m guessing some of my lovely friends from those groups made up a good bunch of the respondents in this survey – thanks y’all!) Of the respondents, 74% have a website and 57% advertise in local publications. 51% of people give away free consultations (see, I told you this is a generous bunch!) Then we have, in order of popularity: phone book listing, referrals, speaking, newsletter, blog, publish articles. (Boy, there’s a lot I’d like to say here about missed opportunities! Watch for future blog posts…)

The Pain & Suffering of Small Business & Private Practice Business, Revealed

Everyone says small business is hard. They often say it can be very rewarding (here, here!) but that it is difficult to get to that place of peace that let’s the “rewarding” part arrive. I wanted to know why… What is the expressed pain of small business…? What compelling desire do small business owners carry in their solar plexis (or whatever chakra carries their desires) every day as they go about their work?

Here’s what I learned: It’s primarily the juggling of so many tasks (10 people actually used the word “juggling”). That was the most common answer. Second to this was “finding more clients” or “growing the business”.  Of course, then there are the issues of employees, the economy, branding, pricing decisions, travel… the need to wear a zillion hats (regardless of whether those hats are well-suited for you!) like bookkeeper, marketer, service provider, networker, writer, speaker, and customer service department.

Yep – a good amount of “pain” in the mix, to be sure. But that doesn’t surprise any of you, I know. You have your own business pain (and pleasure – of course, the pleasure!)

The Antidote to Pain is Connection (Which is also the Road to Pleasure, isn’t it?)

The cool thing is, almost 75% of respondent’s have friends and colleagues they can go to for problem resolution. Such goodness. This is my favorite way, too. A close second place for dealing with issues is networking groups (which, in my experience, becomes a place full of friends and colleagues over time.) Third place is the Internet – and again, I wonder if a good part of the issue resolution here happens through connection with other people in online forums, on blogs, in Twitter or on Facebook… or any multitude of people-gathering places. In order of popularity from there is Mentor, Books, Publications and finally… the phone book (poor phone book, used to get so much more play before the Internet.)

So, that pretty much sums up the findings of the survey. I’m not pretending that this is a representative sample of the small business population, of course. Still, it’s some good and useful stuff. Tell me – does it reflect your own experience? Does your experience differ? If so, how? What would you add to this survey? What do you believe just didn’t show up here in the right was? I’d genuinely love your thoughts, feedback and ideas – whether they agree or disagree with all of this.

Thanks M. Kelley archaeology for the survey guy image.

Filed Under: business planning, marketing, networking, small business marketing

Networking & Marketing for Artists, Artisans & Designers

March 9, 2010 By 2 Comments

Maya Moon Designs Bags

My friend and client, Maya of Maya Moon Designs, makes seriously stunning handmade leather handbags. I mean she MAKES them, from concept to design to sewing every stitch of the piping on every one of her pieces of practical fashion art. I am blown away regularly by her ideas and creativity. Her gifts are way outside of my own strengths. And every time I carry one of my Maya Moon creations, I feel lighter, happier and way cooler than I usually do (fashion coolness not being one of my more glowing strengths.)

Maya and I have spent a good deal of time discussing how she might answer the oft-asked question, “So, what do you do?” Of course, Maya has the great advantage of wearing her artwork on her arm everywhere she goes, so she can say, “I make handbags” then hold up the stunner of a bag hanging on her arm to speak for itself. This works well – people always get excited, always want to know more, and it is not uncommon for the early beginnings of an actual sale transaction to occur right there in that conversation. Marketing her handbags is pretty easy when she is at a party or networking event (or in the grocery store, really.)

Many of us aren’t so lucky as to wear our art/service/products on our arm wherever we go. This means, we have to figure out how to explain our art in a way that makes a distinction from other artists, expresses the goodness that we bring to our Right Clients, and says very specifically who would most benefit from our wares. Marketing our art requires more descriptive and planned communication.

If you answer the question, “So, what do you do?” with “I’m a jewelry designer” guess what will happen… ? Probably nothing. Maybe they’ll ask what kind of jewelry, if they are intrigued or if they want to extend the conversation. Or, maybe they will nod and place you in the gigantic category of “jewelry designers” ranging from bead jewelers to precious metals to a designer for a mall retailer. In that case, are they going to send friends your way to check out your wares? Or leap on the chance to see the goods themselves? Probably not.

So, what do you say?

Do your best to include at least these three things in your Party Pitch (this is what I call your answer to the question “So, what do you do?”:

  • What you solve
  • For whom you solve it
  • What it’s like to experience your work (some call this part your Unique Selling Proposition. I sort of mean that but more on that later.)

The answers to these questions aren’t always direct in your Party Pitch, but they are there in the message. The point is – a person knows how to refer someone to you (including themselves) who would enjoy your product or service.

Here are some examples:

I design and handcraft precious metal and natural stone organic style jewelry for men and women.

solve: the desire for natural beauty enhancement
for whom: men and women (if it were just women, you don’t have to mention it since jewelry is most often for women.)
the experience: natural, organic, handcrafted… possible assumptions about the experience: down-to-earth, warm, human, egalitarian

I make hand-dyed vibrant nature-themed silk scarves for women which are sold nationally in small boutiques

solve: desire for self-expression of love of nature through wearable art
for whom: women
the experience: high-end quality, one-of-a-kind ownership

I photograph and frame unexpected details of nature, such as closeups of birds feeding their young, for a child’s bedroom, play areas and classrooms.

solve: need and desire for children to experience moments of nature
for whom: parents, caregivers and educators
the experience: kid-centered, unique/unusual (unexpected details of nature), nature-loving

And if you’re thinking you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying all of that in answer to the question, “So, what do you do?”, you’re not alone. The other huge part of having a great, natural Party Pitch is getting used to saying it. Practice, practice, practice… and let variations flow naturally, too…

Just don’t go back to that useless one that tells them nothing about who you are and the brilliance you bring to the world. Okay?

Filed Under: authenticity, networking, small business marketing

Blogging Leads to More of Your Right Clients

March 3, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Starting a blog can feel daunting. I know because I thought about blogging a long time before I started to do it myself. Even then, I struggled to really get into blogging. I think the reasons for this struggle are similar for many of us who are in heart-felt business endeavors: 1. We like to listen to others so sharing our “expertise” in what appears to be a one-way fashion (which it’s not, but at first it really feels like it is) feels strange, 2. It takes a lot of confidence to put yourself out there in such a bold way to such a potentially gigantic audience, and 3. We already have too much to do so thinking of topics, figuring out how to write them in a way that’s interesting, and learning the technical aspects of blogging feels overwhelming.

If you can write reasonably well, you really should blog

If you listen to or read anything about marketing your business or private practice today you will hear how important it is to have an online presence – and one that attracts your Right Clients, fans and potential collaborators. The best way to do that – hands down – is blogging. (Actually, public speaking is even better, but that’s not an online endeavor, mostly… but more on that soon.) Blogging is a great way to be generous with your knowledge, invite conversation and show your expertise.

If you can Guest Blog, too, that’s a lovely bonus.

Eventually, if you keep at it for a while, other people might invite you to blog on their website, too. This is great news for a number of reasons: 1. you get a brand new audience, which means a whole new set of possible connections with you and your business, 2. you get “linkbacks” to your website, if they agree to add a link to your website – these are good for Search Engine Optimization, and 3. it is an endorsement from a third party that they think you have credible expertise.

You never know where these guest blog opportunities might show up.

After I wrote my first Working Retreat blog post, in which I talked about home swapping as a way to arrange a retreat at lower cost, I got an email from Lois at Home Base Holidays asking if I would guest blog on their companion blog about using home exchange for working retreats. (Which I did and here is that blog post.) What a cool opportunity for me. A whole new audience, and one that fits my Right Clients well because I work with solo business owners like counselors, social workers, therapists and artisans so often. Many of my clients chose to go into business for themselves so that they would have the flexibility to travel.

So, start your blog, if you haven’t already.

I really do relate to the uncertainty about beginning your blog. I know there are so many things that you could do to grow your business. And, I also know that blogging draws community and potential clients to your page. From there, it’s about creating  meaningful relationships just like in any other part of life. And you know how to do that. So give yourself this opportunity to reach a bit further in your connections.

Starting a blog can be really easy. If you need a few pointers to know where to start, get in touch via email or comments here. I am happy to point you in some useful directions.

Thank you to Foxtongue for the fabulous blogging via typewriter image.

Filed Under: blogging, marketing, networking, small business marketing, writing
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