It’s You Who Should Be Naked

June 28, 2012 By Leave a Comment

You know not to picture your audience in their underwear, right?

No matter how often you hear that silly advice, never believe it. Don’t even try it. If you picture them in their undies, you will experience a myriad of distracting thoughts – some of which may be enticing, Yes – but none of which will serve you and your speaking.

The point is, you don’t need to put your audience in a less powerful position than you (which is the underlying goal of the underwear advice) to thrive on stage.

In fact, if anyone should near nakedness in this exchange, it should be you.

The best speaking has a lot in common with stripping down - yourself:

  • You reveal layers of you and your experience that will surprise your audience
  • You take risks in storytelling and passionate expression that can feel a bit like wearing a bikini in a mall
  • You allow for in-the-moment spontaneity and honesty, a sudden “peep show” into the workings of your heart and mind
  • You “bear it all” in great speaking, giving everything you’ve got in service of your audience

The honesty, openness and vulnerability in truly transformational speaking is risky. If you are pushing the edges of your own brilliance and self-expression, there is a chance (a certainty, really) that someone will disagree with your approach. It is even possible that you will get feedback that your daring, creative, naked speaking made someone uncomfortable.

Good. Discomfort inspires change. It’s where growth breeds.

Life-changing speaking must be revealing. It takes radical courage to be tranformative. You must remove your protective layers.

It’s a kind of naked.

So, keep your audience clothed – and make sure you have a soft cotton robe handy for afterward. You have earned a delicious lounge in a cozy place to rejuvenate – until the next disrobing event needs you and your message.

Photo credit here.

 

Filed Under: authenticity, Featured, public speaking, self-expression

Why I forgo Food and Sleep to Read a Penelope Trunk Blog Post

August 17, 2010 By 4 Comments

penelope trunk Every time I see a new post in my inbox from Penelope Trunk, my heart skips a giddy little beat.

Why? You ask…

Because I know she’s going to say things that shock me, make me think, and unhinge my jaw at some point in almost every post.

I read a lot of stuff. I have a book collection that shames the Barnes & Noble business book shelf – and my parenting and self-help/psychology collections are just a few books shy of that business shelf. I read zillions of blogs, haphazardly, maybe like you do. I know many of us who spend a lot of time online skim the blog world throughout the day.

So, I’m saying, with all this reading I do, I rarely get shocked… flabbergasted…

…awed by the sheer gall and brilliance of an idea or connection between ideas like I do with Penelope Trunk. I love her writing because I can count on this amplified emotional experience that also teaches me some kind of otherwise mundane life lesson. I just dig that.

I dig it so much that if I see the post arrive when I’m already way past my bedtime and my eyes are dried out and I’m barely able to read, I still stay and read the whole thing. I miss the first five minutes of dinner if that’s when the post arrives – it’s so enticing to me. Even if I’m really hungry.

Not all of my friends read and like Penelope Trunk.

In fact, I have forwarded her posts, touted her audacious writing and passed her url onto almost everyone I’ve talked to for more than ten minutes about blogging. Three of my friends actively dislike reading Penelope’s blog, which totally blows my mind. They say they “don’t get it” and that it’s just too much oversharing about  her personal life. Which is what I love about her blog, in large part – along with the way she ties in sex, parenting, personal relationships and career so unexpectedly and (mostly) brilliantly.

I keep wanting to convince my friends who don’t love Penelope to read her because I know they’d see how great of a writer she is if they just read a little more.

Then I remember that they don’t have to love her.

In fact, that they don’t is a sign that she’s doing a bang up writing job after all.

And that’s the part I want to learn how to do even better – write so that some people don’t like it.

What about you? Do you write knowing that some people won’t like it? What’s your strategy?

Thanks eschipul for the photo of Penelope speaking. I was going to grab one from her site, but I’m afraid she’d get mad and we all know how scary it is to have the wrath of Penelope.

Filed Under: authenticity, blogging, writing

Who Are You? And, What Are You Trying to Say?

July 19, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I got a phone call four nights ago from a good friend’s husband.

While she and I were really good friends about seven years ago, and have maintained a caring friendship across many miles and life changes, I didn’t know her husband really well.

Which is why my heart sank when I heard who it was on the other end of the line.

“I’m really sorry to be calling to tell you this. Terry passed away five months ago.”

What?

Seriously, it’s impossible in that moment to process the information.

Terry? There’s no way. She was only 44. She was strong, healthy and passionate about too many things. The part in my brain that understands death is nowhere near the region in my brain that holds Terry’s image and life. And they weren’t moving any closer together then, even as he told me the details of her passing.

Terry was the Executive Director of an environmental organization in Homer, Alaska when she died. Before that, she was heading up the Red Rock Forests advocacy organization in Southeastern Utah. Mostly, Terry was a passionate advocate for trees, animals and natural habitats. She loved dogs. She loved hiking. She loved making things better. Spend an hour with Terry and you knew who she was and what mattered to her.

It’s not that other things don’t matter to Terry, too. She adored her husband and stepkids. She was a kind and thoughtful friend. I’m sure that in the last six years when miles and life changes made our contact infrequent, she had many interesting things going on in her life beyond what I knew of her. But what I absolutely know for sure is that my sense of Terry from way back then is the same driving sense of Terry that those who met her six months ago experienced: committed, loyal, tireless-fixer, saving the planet in big and small ways, laughing at the dogs’ latest shenanigans all the while.

Ever since I got that call from Harold, Terry’s husband – between memories of little things Terry and I did together, conversations I so enjoyed with her -

I keep thinking to myself this:

I love knowing exactly who Terry was – it was always so crystal clear. She was both a wonderful listener and an eloquent, passionate and thoughtful advocate for what she believed in.

What is my version of this expression in my own life?

I knew who Terry was and what she believed in – and she didn’t have to scream it from the rooftops. It was clear by the way she chose to spend her time, the conversations she was inclined to begin and the places she put her energy and attention. I want to be even more of that kind of clarity of self-expression. She’s a meaningful guide for me. Thank you, Terry. Every Red Rock, ocean view and goofy-faced dog will remind me.

Thank you, Alan Vernon, for the beautiful Red Rock image.

Filed Under: authenticity, life overall

Networking & Marketing for Artists, Artisans & Designers

March 9, 2010 By 2 Comments

Maya Moon Designs Bags

My friend and client, Maya of Maya Moon Designs, makes seriously stunning handmade leather handbags. I mean she MAKES them, from concept to design to sewing every stitch of the piping on every one of her pieces of practical fashion art. I am blown away regularly by her ideas and creativity. Her gifts are way outside of my own strengths. And every time I carry one of my Maya Moon creations, I feel lighter, happier and way cooler than I usually do (fashion coolness not being one of my more glowing strengths.)

Maya and I have spent a good deal of time discussing how she might answer the oft-asked question, “So, what do you do?” Of course, Maya has the great advantage of wearing her artwork on her arm everywhere she goes, so she can say, “I make handbags” then hold up the stunner of a bag hanging on her arm to speak for itself. This works well – people always get excited, always want to know more, and it is not uncommon for the early beginnings of an actual sale transaction to occur right there in that conversation. Marketing her handbags is pretty easy when she is at a party or networking event (or in the grocery store, really.)

Many of us aren’t so lucky as to wear our art/service/products on our arm wherever we go. This means, we have to figure out how to explain our art in a way that makes a distinction from other artists, expresses the goodness that we bring to our Right Clients, and says very specifically who would most benefit from our wares. Marketing our art requires more descriptive and planned communication.

If you answer the question, “So, what do you do?” with “I’m a jewelry designer” guess what will happen… ? Probably nothing. Maybe they’ll ask what kind of jewelry, if they are intrigued or if they want to extend the conversation. Or, maybe they will nod and place you in the gigantic category of “jewelry designers” ranging from bead jewelers to precious metals to a designer for a mall retailer. In that case, are they going to send friends your way to check out your wares? Or leap on the chance to see the goods themselves? Probably not.

So, what do you say?

Do your best to include at least these three things in your Party Pitch (this is what I call your answer to the question “So, what do you do?”:

  • What you solve
  • For whom you solve it
  • What it’s like to experience your work (some call this part your Unique Selling Proposition. I sort of mean that but more on that later.)

The answers to these questions aren’t always direct in your Party Pitch, but they are there in the message. The point is – a person knows how to refer someone to you (including themselves) who would enjoy your product or service.

Here are some examples:

I design and handcraft precious metal and natural stone organic style jewelry for men and women.

solve: the desire for natural beauty enhancement
for whom: men and women (if it were just women, you don’t have to mention it since jewelry is most often for women.)
the experience: natural, organic, handcrafted… possible assumptions about the experience: down-to-earth, warm, human, egalitarian

I make hand-dyed vibrant nature-themed silk scarves for women which are sold nationally in small boutiques

solve: desire for self-expression of love of nature through wearable art
for whom: women
the experience: high-end quality, one-of-a-kind ownership

I photograph and frame unexpected details of nature, such as closeups of birds feeding their young, for a child’s bedroom, play areas and classrooms.

solve: need and desire for children to experience moments of nature
for whom: parents, caregivers and educators
the experience: kid-centered, unique/unusual (unexpected details of nature), nature-loving

And if you’re thinking you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying all of that in answer to the question, “So, what do you do?”, you’re not alone. The other huge part of having a great, natural Party Pitch is getting used to saying it. Practice, practice, practice… and let variations flow naturally, too…

Just don’t go back to that useless one that tells them nothing about who you are and the brilliance you bring to the world. Okay?

Filed Under: authenticity, networking, small business marketing

Movin' On – Brazen Style

November 13, 2009 By 1 Comment

motorcycle iboy daniel on flickrThe time has come to finally leap squarely – brazenly – into my new brand! I am so excited to finally be implementing in my own business the very thing I work so hard to create for my clients: a powerful brand that reflects my passion and soul.

Side Door Branding

One could ask themselves how I could have had a brand that did not do this from the beginning. After all, this is precisely what I get paid to do with others!

My only answer is this: I was afraid and I lacked clarity. (Gasp!)  When I finally officially started this business about two years ago after many years of doing pieces and parts of this work in various forms – and after dreaming all along about creating a business just like this – I came in the side door. I thought I would do this “part-time” while teaching at the college and taking care of our very young daughters. I rushed through the branding process, thinking that the services I offered were the really important element of my business. I knew branding mattered and I invested in quality design and marketing materials accordingly, but I just didn’t know how much the actual look and feel of the brand would matter, for my business building – and equally importantly, to ME.

It’s NOT About Eloquence

Slowly, comments from others as well as my own feelings of incongruity began to emerge. “Your brand is so beautiful!” they’d say, and while I loved hearing that they were noticing my brand in a positive way, it just didn’t sound right to me. I like beauty at least as much as the next person, but what I really believe in is powerful, authentic, soul-revealing communication used in business to attract your best clients. It just wasn’t quite getting there with the “beautiful” thing. Then people began referring to me as “the eloquent speaker” and making other very complimentary remarks about my eloquence – but all comments about their own communication were decidedly NOT about being eloquent. “I don’t want Eloquence per se, I just want it to sound really good so people want to buy my stuff.” Um, light bulb moment! My clients aren’t looking for eloquence. In fact, that feels lofty and too fancy.

It’s About Powerful Soulful Business

So, what are my clients looking for? They are looking for a successful business built around their passion and strengths. They want self-expression inside of their business so that they are making the most powerful Contribution in the world that is possible for them. They want to be fully themselves inside of their businesses and mix that style with the language and offering that truly magnetizes their clients and customers to their door. This is a courageous way to do business, this soul-bearing approach. It takes bold, audacious risk – and has huge payoff in satisfaction and financial reward, if you really hone in on your true market.

This is only possible if you are a Brazen Soul.

And thus, here we go… Join me at my new (temporary) web home and let’s carry on our conversation over there, where the place is currently being decorated much more to our tastes, yours and mine.

Image thanks to iboy daniel on flickr.

Filed Under: authenticity, branding, branding clarity, business planning, re-branding, small business marketing, style Tagged With: , , ,
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